Another New Year Filled With Possibilty

      I have been contemplative lately about my life and the realm of possibility that I wish not to squander. The coming of a new year does this to many of us, it’s a new start, fresh tablet of ideas and sometimes a new adventure or a way to get things on track.

      My new year came early and I did not realize it at the time. It’s one of those things that I go through since having a head injury and a seizure disorder; I have what I call Seizure Time or clock, not like any other time to anyone else it is the resetting of an internal clock that ticks down time based on the last seizure. It works like this; I have a seizure and then after I begin to count days later it turns to weeks, then months and hopefully years from the last seizure. I know it sounds odd but I learned this growing up because everyone would say, “You are doing great.” and then the dreaded question,” How long has it been since you had a seizure.” So you get the picture my life revolved around moments of wellness and progress in between seizures. By the way I know no one meant it to freak me out they were just hopeful and concerned.  I look back and think about my family as I write this, because they too lived on Seizure Time, only theirs was a little different in that I am sure they had a sense of anxiety or doom waiting for another one. Because they had to be on watch and needed to be prepared for me to have one any time. They like me would get more relaxed about it as time went on.

     I was a kid, so I realized this later in life and later in life I would get sense of doom waiting for it to happen again too, but usually right after one had occurred. It is a trigger to something else I live with; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, which is a bigger thing than the seizure itself. It was and is a great accomplishment to go for a long time without one. I hate to admit it but for me not having a seizure for a long time is something that I hold on to, it gives me a sense of security and freedom.  Those two things are a hot commodity for me, for they haven’t been felt in great depth most of my life. The other thing I think is important to point out though is that I don’t sit around waiting for a seizure to happen. I don’t live my life in fear of them or I wouldn’t be living at all. In fact, quite the opposite I have lived in spite of all the false sense of security that a little time between seizures creates.

     So this brings me to where my New Year began; on December 13,2013,  which I didn’t realize that day but my Seizure Clock had turned over for the fourth year. It is the first time in my life that has happened; that I have gone for four year without one. So Happy New Year and may your Seizure Clock run a very long time and may you get a sense of security knowing or just maybe believing that it could be possible one day you may not have another. I am still hopeful. Yeah I am a glass half-full person most of the time; which brings me to the other reason I am writing this.

     I have some things to overcome and they aren’t small things, they are big things and one is getting my book Published it is time. I have to give up whatever weird fears I have about not being a good enough writer and just do it. I will let the world know when it is out for everyone to buy.  The others not in any order of priority are losing weight by bicycling, and saving some money. I think other things will fall into place once I am just working on those goals; that’s how my life works. I have something that I say I will do, I work myself up to it and little by little I get it done. I am a process driven person. So Don’t Rush Me! Just give me a little Nudge every now and again.


Live Life so you never have to say," I should have..." I have lived like this, because at age 9, I was brutally beaten while walking to school and acquired a head injury with a seizure disorder and a lifetime of recovery. I live in spite of what everyone believed I would become. You wouldn't know any of this if you saw me or spoke to me. we are some of the many anonymous people living with disabilities in the world. I am a writer and an avid observer of the human condition and I have found that people with TBI are some of the most misunderstood and under funded groups of people with disabilities, I want to change that. I have advocated for people's rights for most of my life years in the human service field and I'm trying to make a difference through education. I hope to inspire people to live well against all odds and the status quo. Be Unique and be who you are and not who others want you to be. Be FREE!
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8 Responses to Another New Year Filled With Possibilty

  1. Kathy says:

    Congrats on the four year milestone!!! May you have many more years of freedom! I noticed that you didn’t include attaching the water heater door on your “to do”list….try to get that done before this summer please!!!LOL Have a wonderful, happy, healthy 2014 Amy! Love You!


    • Thank you Kathy. Yeah hahaha about the door. It is fixed by the way, and hanging, just needs to be painted. Maybe by the spring. Or maybe…Wait a great idea you and Cindy can come down and we’ll paint the whole house. That is one of the best ideas I have had yet. Love you. Amy


  2. Lynn says:

    Good for you, sweet Amy. Sending new year hugs your way.


  3. You never cease to amaze me. I had no idea you had a seizure in December. You are amazing,my dear friend. Love you.


    • Margaret I had one in 2009 and it was the end of my neck. That’s why I had to get surgery about a year and a half ago. I thank you for all of your support and if I recall you and I hooked up on fb at the time when I was home that December. I had gotten pneumonia from it as well. I was drinking coffee when it occurred. I am here to tell. Thank you for following me. Love you.


    • I didn’t have a seizure this past December it was 4 years ago we had started to fb each other then. I Love you Margaret. thank you so much for all of the things you do to make me realize there is so much more to so in life. You support me all the time. Hugs to you.


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